The Du vs. Ni Debate: How to Be Polite in Swedish
A Linguistic Shift That Redefined Swedish Society
In Sweden today, addressing a stranger, a colleague, or even a high-ranking official with the informal du is not just acceptable it is the norm. The familiar pronoun du, equivalent to the English “you,” is used across the board, from casual conversations to government correspondence.
But it wasn’t always this way. In fact, until the late 1960s, navigating polite address in Swedish could feel like threading a needle through a complex web of titles, formal pronouns, and social hierarchies. The shift from formal address to universal du, known as the du-reformen (the du reform), marks one of the most significant cultural and linguistic transformations in modern Sweden.
This article explores the history behind this remarkable shift, the role of ni, and what politeness means in Swedish today.
The Maze of Politeness Before the Reform
For centuries, Swedes followed an elaborate code of polite address. Using du was largely reserved for family, close friends, and social equals. When addressing someone older, of higher rank, or unfamiliar, Swedes avoided direct pronouns altogether.
Instead, speech was filtered through a system of titles, third-person references, and indirect constructions. A customer in a shop might say, Vill ingenjör Nilsson vara snäll och visa varorna? (Would engineer Nilsson be so kind as to show the goods?). Similarly, a waiter might offer coffee with the phrase, Behagas kaffe? (Would coffee be desired?).
At the heart of this system was ni, a pronoun that, in theory, served as a respectful form of “you.” Unlike the French vous or German Sie, however, ni never fully settled into the role of a neutral, polite alternative. Its use was inconsistent, sometimes signaling deference, but at other times coming across as cold or even condescending.
A 1944 survey by Dagens Nyheter reflected this confusion. Thirty-seven percent of Swedes reported using ni with strangers, while 24% relied on titles like herr (Mr.) or fru (Mrs.), 17% used du, and 15% chose impersonal expressions such as damen (the lady) or min herre (my sir).
The Breakthrough: Sweden’s Move Toward Equality
The turning point came in the late 1960s, a period marked by widespread social change. The du-reform wasn’t dictated by law or royal decree; rather, it emerged organically as Swedes began to favor simplicity and equality over rigid formalities.
One figure often credited with propelling the change is Bror Rexed, director general of the National Board of Health and Welfare. In 1967, Rexed announced that he would address his employees as du and invited them to do the same with him. His decision, widely publicized, became symbolic of a shift already underway in Swedish workplaces, schools, and government institutions.
By the early 1970s, the old system of polite address had collapsed. Du was no longer an intimate or casual form; it had become the universal pronoun of choice. The reform reflected broader Swedish values: egalitarianism, informality, and mutual respect, regardless of status.
The Complex History of Ni
Sweden’s journey to universal du was shaped by the peculiar history of ni.
From as early as the 18th century, efforts were made to establish ni as a polite alternative to du, inspired by the success of vous in French and Sie in German. King Gustav III himself encouraged its use. Yet ni never fully gained the neutral, respectful meaning its promoters intended.
Instead, ni often felt ambiguous. In some situations, it indicated respect; in others, it seemed to create distance or express irritation. Some even viewed it as a passive-aggressive way of asserting superiority. These mixed connotations made Swedes hesitant to embrace ni, paving the way for the du-reform to succeed where earlier politeness campaigns had failed.
The Return of Ni — and the Modern Debate
Although du dominates contemporary Swedish, ni has not disappeared entirely. Since the 1980s, it has resurfaced in certain service contexts.
Today, shop assistants, waitstaff, and customer service agents might choose ni as a way to convey politeness, especially toward older customers or those they wish to honor with a touch of formality.
But opinions are divided. For some, ni offers a welcome mark of courtesy in a culture that can otherwise feel overly informal. For others, it seems outdated or even uncomfortable, a linguistic relic at odds with modern Swedish egalitarianism.
In essence, ni has become a stylistic choice rather than a social requirement.
How Should You Address People in Swedish Today?
For learners of Swedish, the guidance is refreshingly straightforward.
Du is the norm. It’s used in virtually all situations: at work, in public offices, with strangers, and in social settings.
Ni is optional. It may be appropriate in certain service contexts or with elderly strangers, but it’s never required.
Above all, Swedes place greater emphasis on tone, body language, and word choice than on pronouns alone. Politeness is conveyed through warmth, clarity, and consideration — not formal address.
Practical Examples
Before the du-reform:
Vill Ni/herrn/ingenjör Nilsson vara snäll och…
Behagas grädde till kaffet?
After the du-reform:
Vill du ha kaffe?
Kan du hjälpa mig?
Regional and Generational Nuances
While du is standard across Sweden, small pockets of formality persist. In rural areas or among older Swedes, ni may still appear more often. Similarly, in fine dining or traditional businesses, staff may use ni as part of their service style.
However, in major cities like Stockholm, Gothenburg, and Malmö, du reigns supreme.
The Legacy of the Du-Reform
The du-reform stands as more than just a linguistic development. It is a reflection of Sweden’s commitment to equality, simplicity, and mutual respect. The reform dismantled a verbal code that had long reinforced social divisions, replacing it with a single, universal form that symbolizes openness and fairness.
In today’s Sweden, to say du is not to be impolite or overly familiar, it is to speak in a way that honors the nation’s values.
